Anyhoo, have you all been looking at the green stuff? I hope so.
Since segues don't appear to be my strong suit this morning ("anyhoo" is not a segue, I admit that) I will make no attempt to give you one now. I'll just go straight to a great Nashville story for you.
My BFF Pat came to Nashville to help us get settled in and we wanted to celebrate with a glass of wine. The kitchen was completely bare so I went out in search of a liquor store where I could get a bottle of wine, some wine glasses and a cork screw.
The name of the one I found was so perfect for the Deep South. "Mr. Whiskers Liquor Store".
I quickly picked a Yellowtail Chardonnay from a collection of wines so impressive you'd hardly believe it belonged to a man named after his mustache. But I could not find the wine glasses and cork screws. I walked through the whole shop twice and finally gave up.
As I was checking out I asked the guy at the register where the corkscrews were.
"We can't sell cork screws here. Tennessee law," he said.
"You can't sell cork screws?"
"Tennessee law," he echoed.
I must have looked really pitiful at that point. I was after all wondering if I would be able to swing the bottle of wine at the side of the house and open it without shattering the whole thing.
He whispered to me, "You can buy a corkscrew at the shoe store next door."
"Seriously?" I asked. "You can't sell me a corkscrew but the SHOE STORE can?"
By then I was actually enjoying the thought of opening the bottle of wine with some unconventional method but I wondered if he was kidding about the shoe store so I decided to find out.
The shoe store next door wasn't one of those crappy shoe stores that sell last year's shoes at next year's prices. It was a serious operation. One of those orthotic places that make molds of your feet and do heat-sensitive impressions and stuff.
"Can I help you?" asked a friendly, white-haired lady.
"The guy at Mr. Whiskers told me I could buy a corkscrew here?"
"Yes, let me finish with this customer and I'll get one for you," she said.
"Oh, I don't really want one. I just wanted to know if you really sell them," I answered and then walked out.
So let's re-cap here. In Tennessee wine is sold in liquor stores and corkscrews are sold in shoe stores.
Shoes, it seems, can be sold in shoe stores.
Everyone got that?