Sunday, June 20, 2010

Open Letter to my Wii Fit

Dear Wii Fit,

I think we should take a break. Lately I've been feeling smothered by you.

When I bought you and installed you in my living room I didn't think I was making a commitment to visit with you every day. In fact I'm sure that was never part of the setup or configuration. I did share some intimate details with you like my weight, my age and my fitness goals but we never agreed on how often I would visit you.

But somehow you had that expectation well-programmed onto your hard disk. You expected so much more than I could give and I couldn't find a user setting where I could re-set your expectation.

And now it's like every time I go to see you you say, "Oh! It's been a long time since I've seen you!"

A week is not a long time! You see me more than my own mom.

Let's not be bitter as we part ways. Let's focus on the good times we had together. Remember the time you told me my Wii fit age was 28? That was so sweet. Or the time you remembered my birthday.

Okay that was about it as far as happy memories with you.

Anyway, just remember - it's not me, it's you.

I'm keeping the cat.

- melanie

Friday, June 11, 2010

I am probably not Stage Mom Material

I don't like to blog about how great my kids are. I think they're great but I don't expect you guys to understand so I don't waste space on the internet trying.

But today I just have to. Because Audrey played the lead in a play called "鸡婆花" last week. I knew she was going to be in a play, I mean I'd been dragging her across town for rehearsals for a couple of weeks and all. And Buddy had told me she had a significant role.

But I didn't realize how big her role was, or how professional the play was, or how many people would be in the audience.

Until I was sitting in the audience watching my baby perform in front of 900 people, a packed theater. Singing and dancing and saying lots of words. In Chinese. And looking so incredibly cute. I snapped this picture with my iPhone so it doesn't give you the full effect, but if you squint your eyes you get the picture.

Please note my baby is standing on the stage all by herself! She was up there by herself talking to the audience. Of 900 people! Did I say that? It was 900 people.

I wanted to stand up and tell everyone in the theater that five years ago she couldn't say a word in Chinese. And here she was, performing in Chinese! And on top of remembering all her lines she remembered all her songs and dance moves too.

She had a mom in the play and it hurt me to hear her call, "Mommy!" and another woman comes dancing across the stage to hug her. I saw her Other Mom backstage and I shot her all kinds of nasty looks. But I don't think she noticed. Anyway I'm the one she spends Sundays and holidays with.

I am probably not Stage Mom Material.

I asked Audrey if she gets stage fright at all and she said she's usually a little bit nervous for the first few seconds on stage but then she's fine. This composure is going to serve her well no matter what she does in life, I think.

This is Audrey and me backstage after the play.

Alright, I will stop now. Thank you for tolerating this brief rant.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Happy Birthday White Chocolate!

I missed my friend Aaron's birthday last week. So I'm going to make up for it by wishing him a happy birthday on my blog.

Because don't you think there's an inverse correlation between the timeliness of birthday greetings and the public nature of the greetings?

Thank you, this is why I love you guys, because of your unwavering support.

When I look back on my long and illustrious career, the Years I Worked With Aaron stand out in two ways. They were the FUN years. And they were the low-stress years because I knew someone had my back.

First, let's start with fun. Once our co-worker Cindy took a group order for these frozen Chinese pork buns. When they arrived she sent an email to our team alias saying, "Your buns are in the freezer."

Aaron replied with, "I thought I felt cold."

And he used to call me a lot. That's normal, right? Except that he worked in the office next door to me. Yes, he would call me from 5 feet away. I could hear his voice through the wall. This from a man who runs marathons.

Aaron had my back. I was never late for meetings when Aaron was around because he would always always always come get me. When I was on vacation I knew Aaron would cover for me. There were so many times when he saved me, and when I thanked him he would just wink and say, "Hey, I got your back."

Do you have any idea how good it feels to know someone has your back? Studies show that it reduces your stress level by 65%.

Those would be my studies, thank you.

Does someone have your back at work? If not I encourage to go out and get someone's back. And let them know you're doing it. Let them know that from now on, you are looking out for them and will do your best to make sure no harm comes to them. They are naturally going to return the favor. And a virtuous cycle is born.

All thanks to Aaron.

Happy birthday White Chocolate!

Monday, June 7, 2010

How to Walk from Brazil to Vietnam in One Day

Saturday 10:00am - Grant and his cousin singing a little song before getting in the cab and heading to the Expo.

Six hours later, somewhere in the Pacific Islands -

The Expo is a distant cousin of the World's Fair - countries form around the world come together, erect immense structures called "pavilions" and promote how great they are.

I know, it is their loss that the Expo Committee rejected my application for their Chief Marketing Officer position.

The best thing about the Expo is that it shrinks the whole world down into one square mile. You can literally walk from Tunisia to Australia to Chile in one day. (See, now don't you think that sentence would have looked great in the brochures?)

The worst thing is the lines. The queues! Whatever you want to call them, they are ridiculous. You have to wait in line for at least 3 hours for any of the decent pavilions.

Alternatively, you can go to the pavilions that have a shorter queue, but there is a reason for those short queues. Because there is nothing interesting inside that pavilion.

Around 4:30pm we were walking past the Japan Pavilion. An Expo staff member told us the wait was 4.5 hours.

Four point five hours!

I said to Buddy, "If we get in line now, we'll get into the pavilion at ... 9:00 pm!"

Buddy said, "If we got in a plane now, we could get to Japan sooner than that!"

Which made us both laugh so hard we cried.

Seriously, we could have gotten to Japan sooner than we could have gotten into that pavilion. Who in their right mind would stand in the line?

Well, obviously about 4.5 hours worth of people.

My verdict on the Expo 2010 is that you should go if you're in the area but don't plan on going into the pavilions. Just walk around and take in the atmosphere and look at the pavilions from the outside.

And if you're taking young boys with you, bring along a couple of gurneys.