I cut the label off of the curtain in my living room.
It’s been there ever since I hung the curtains.
Backwards. But it’s a sheer white panel and you really couldn’t tell
that I hung it backwards except for that damn label. When I watched TV I
looked at it and wondered how much work it
would be to cut it off.
Would the step ladder in the pantry do the trick?
Or would I need the 6-foot ladder from the garage?
Can I just wait until Grant grows tall enough to reach up and cut it off…?
Today I decided that it’s time. I’m not sure why
today felt like the right moment. Maybe it’s related to me turning 50
today. Maybe it’s not. It’s possible I’m over-analyzing.
As it turns out, the stepladder in the pantry did the trick. The whole process took less than 30 seconds.
So my present to myself for the next 50 years is
that I won’t have to look at that label anymore and wonder how much work
it would take to cut it off.
In exchange however, I will look at the curtain and
remember how many hours I spent looking at it before, wondering how
much work it would be to cut it off.
Regret and self-doubt as a replacement for procrastination and inaction.
This is The Downtown Diner, you knew that was coming.
You might wonder how any of this is blog-worthy.
And really, it’s not. I know most
people will read it once and then again, and then will ask themselves
what the point is. Then they will shake their
heads and close their laptop with a sigh.
But there are a few people out there who will read
this and think about me and nod and smile and say, “Yeah, that sounds
about right.” They will think about my quirks and all my posts over the
years and how much they love me.
And you all, you are the best gift I have given
myself over the past 50 years. Thank you for being part of it all with
me. All my procrastination and inaction, all my regret and self-doubt.
My seemingly pointless posts and the live conversational
versions of the same. I love you all.
Let’s do another 50 years of this.
10 comments:
Lovely reflection :) Big hugs, and many happy returns.
Loads of love & hugs right back at ya!
Thank you Anon and KN! <3
Happy birthday, beautiful. I love your posts. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have some damn blinds that I’ve been meaning to replace for the past five years... :)
Happy birthday!! I never knew you as a procrastinator or someone full of self doubt. That was me. You were my hero. Of course that WAS thirty years ago. And a lot can change. But some things never change - and you are STILL my hero. Welcome to the 50s!
Thank you Cricket! Can’t wait to see you at REACH this summer.
Sam, you are kind. Thirty years ago I was just better at hiding all my insecurities. :)
Belated happy birthday Mel, I love your posts, they are very sublime.
A little late, but happy birthday Melanie!
-Manoj (Luster)
Really like your charming smile.
Thank you Peter, Manoj and Anon!
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